“New York, May 28, 1816
“My Beloved Child,-
“I have received your letter to-day, for which I have been just thanking my God and your God, the Father to the fatherless and the widow’s God. I am thankful that He has supported you under the severest trial you have been called to meet with you since you entered the vale of tears-the loss of your dear, your precious father. Neither you nor I knew half his worth. The Lord gave us a treasure, but we knew not its value until too late. I hope this has been a sifting time with you, as it has been with your poor mother. How great a backslider have I been! How did I let my vile heart go out after covetousness, and wander from the path of duty, when I left my beloved husband! Oh, my dear child, this thought had well-nigh drove me to despair. But, blessed be the Rock of my salvation, that though in some measure He has suffered me to be sifted as wheat, and the enemy has come like a flood, the Spirit helped my infirmities, and I was through Him enabled to keep a fast hold on the covenant which is well ordered in all things and sure. My Father has chastened me, but His loving-kindness He has not taken from me, nor suffered His faithfulness to fail. It has been good for me that I have been afflicted. Oh, my child, self-righteousness, self-will, and a covetous spirit have led me far astray; but the Lord has overruled even these hated sins for my good, and the salvation of the soul of your dear, beloved father. All is well. Soon we shall meet again; and this is my great consolation. We are in a strange land; but the God of Jacob is my God, and the God of my fatherless ones. England is highly privileged for the precious means of grace; but we have here (America) the simple truths of the gospel, and much sterling piety amongst professors…Lord, have mercy upon me, and let me see Thy hand in this! Lead my mind to contemplate him where he is now. For millions of worlds would he not return. But still my widowed heart aches, and will ache while I live; and yet I trust the Lord has reconciled, or will reconcile, me to His blessed will. But I have touched a chord after the counsel of His own will. My mind is often greatly exercised, but the Lord has said, Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive. To Him do I desire to look, and in Him I will trust. The promise is, Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all things else shall be added unto you. Did I not hope to see the salvation of the Lord in the land of the living I should, sink in despair. Oh, your dear father! I mourn. It is no sin to weep: Jesus wept at the grave of Lazarus; Mary and Martha wept; and may not I also weep? I wish you would go to the vault where your dear father lies, and see if there is any room for your poor unworthy mother too-I wish to lay my bones by him; if you can do this without too much distressing your own feelings. I cannot account for it, but it has been the constant desire of my heart, (as I cannot see it myself,) that you should see the coffin that contains his beloved body. I shall see that body again, shining more gloriously than the brightest angel in heaven.”
-From Life In Jesus, A Memoir of Mrs. Mary Winslow By Her Son, Octavius Winslow, D.D. Printed From The 1890 Edition by John Shaw Pages 50-51 Printed by Sola Deo Gloria
No comments:
Post a Comment